Darkness.

Most people is afraid of Darkness, yes normal people is afraid of her.

But I do love her, I enjoy her company, you can be yourself in the dark, you can be naked in the dark and no one will ever notice, there might be a ghost right in front of you but Darkness will protect you from seeing it.

Darkness itself is not bad, I am more afraid of the Light cause... true monsters are hidden in The light with a deep darkness inside... That is the kind of darkness that is able to actually hurt you, take away your soul your beliefs and destroy your heart, I know that the kind of darkness that these monsters hide inside of them is kind of fascinating... it allures you until there is no way out and until you are not able to see what is really happening.

Now I know that that is the reason why I felt so deeply in love with you. Cause your soul is so dark that I immediately felt for you. You my dear...you have the most dark and soulless heart that I have ever known. I confused the lovely Darkness who is my companion every night with the darkness inside of you.

You were right when you used to tell me "I am a monster"... maybe at that point there was some good left you and you were just trying to warned me to stay away from you... But... I did not see what was coming.

There was something more disturbing inside of you... something that it was in front of me all the time... that demon.

You unleashed that demon and it destroyed everything that I once ever felt for you and it took the love that it was inside of me... the love that I felt for you as a weakness... It destroyed me as well.

I been on a war against that demon since that day... and luckily I have been able to fight back with grace... of course that in war there are a lot of casualties, my heart died, my ego suffered, my mind took a path into craziness and my body got so cold. But there are some winnings as well... now I have developed a sixth sense that allowes me to see the monsters hidden in the light and cut their heads off until they are too close.

Yes darling now I am what I am cause you made me this way...Cold.

Now your memory seems so far away... and I know that your soul is more darker than ever...and that the demon stills hiding inside of that darkness just waiting for a new victim to drag into.

That demon sometimes scapes from that darkness and tries to bring me down but now I am brave enough to fight it.. and even when it seems that I am about to loose, somehow I am always able to defeat it.

Now I turn off the lights and let the sweet darkness of the night to embrace me and that my dear... is the only darkness that I will ever trust from now on.

A sky full of stars...

I am houndred of miles away from you.
It's funny how a little while ago I had the typical internal fight between mind and heart.

My mind used to tell my heart that you were not good for me.
But my heart was not listening. That was so painful. It was like nothing made sense.

Now my heart has forfotten you but my mind is eager for your memories.

Yes I miss you. I miss you so much, but it does not hurt anymore. Despites that I think of you every single day I can say now that... I am able to live without you.

I guess that my mind is stuck with a possiblity that it will never happen.

And now a sky full of stars is above me. And... you are the one that comes into my mind.

Do I still love you?

Yes.

But time is healing me... so I pray to God that tomorrow will be the day that I will not love you no more.

And whe that tomorrow comes... I will see another sky full of stars again and I will not think of you. That is my 11:11 wish for tonight.

Thank you.

Despite the awful experience that I had with you almost 2 months ago, I must say:

1st. I am much better now... I actually think of you but I do not feel pain or regrets.

2nd. Now I do not think about my life as a "." But I see my life as a ";"

3rd. Thanks to you I learned to identify people more accurately . No one will ever hurt me, play me or take advantage of me as you did. Ever again.

So... at the end of the day I am glad that I met you cause I like this new version of me. No feelings at all. No regrets at all. Not looking for a prince charming that more likely will never come.. but the most that I am thankful to you is that I stop believing in guys and in love... as these two will always make your life a hell.

Thanks seriously thanks...

The girl with the golden hair.

Once I met a girl, her skin was pale like milk her eyes were green like emeralds her hair was golden like the sun.

I never expected that this girl would love me like a brother... I never expected that I would love her like a sister.

Now I can say... she is one of the women of my life.

Life would be unbearable without her. Life would be pointless without her.

I would dare to say that she is the love of my life.

She will always be on the good and bad times with me, and though we argue sometimes, we always find a way to fix and mend whatever it might be broken.

She has mend my heart whenever a bad boy has made my life a hell.

I must say that I am in love with this beautiful girl, that on the outside she seems thug I know that on the inside she is fragile like any oher girl.

And on the dawn of her birthday I just hope and wish that God will give her many more years to live by my side.

Je t'aime ma blonde, plus que ma prope vie.

Loneliness.

I remember the days when loneliness was a good friend of mine.

We used to eat together, we use to sleep together, she was my perfect date.

Now she has become so distant sometimes I wonder if we still have the good relation that we used to have.

She is no lo longer joyful to me. I want to know what happened to her.

I want to se her again as i used to see her. My great companion.

But... I do not know if we will be the same again.

I miss the way that she used to be.

I want my old friend loneliness back, but not this way.

The greek god boy.

Now... it seems that a boy has been sent from above.

Now...he actually makes me happy.

He is so tall, handsome as hell. Has this beautiful smile, loving his eyes.

Just one thing; his heart is broken.

Now it is my turn to mend his heart. As he deserves to be happy

Now it is my turn to be happy with him.

I know thay we can be happy together.

Je t'adore mon D.M. Tu est trés beau!

Rainy Night.

Rainy Night...

30 days... 30 days... since that day.... I wonder when I will be able to get rid of your memory, how can I? If even in my dreams I see you. It seems that my heart desperately tries to remember you.

How can I move on? I have been asking God to bring you back or to erase what I feel for you to fade away, but my prayers are not been heard.

I miss you. Like I have never missed no one in my life.

I loved you. I love you and I will love you.

Everytime that I think of you. I tell myself, hey he never loved you. So why do I love you my dear? Why?

Now it's raining... and I do not know why do I miss you!. If you only huged me once.  But my heart and soul they are so in love with that memory...

And now I am crying.. cause I know that you do not miss me.

I love you...  I seriously do.

But I was not the one for you.

Please someone tell me how can I get rid of this heartache! Cause I am dying silently.

My heart bleeds, my eyes cry, I can not forget your eyes, your laugh, your face.

Missing you...

Lately I am telling myself... I am fine.. I do not love you no more.. is what I feel... but all of the sudden a picture of you appears on my phone... Didn't I erase them all? Should I erase that pic? I saw it and my heart bleeds... and now I see... I miss you... more that I will ever admit.

Afraid...

Now I met someone who seems to be nice. Cute and everything that I ever wanted.. but I am afraid... cause "him" took so much away from me... the capability to trust in someone. And now I am lost... I don't know what to do.

Chapter closed...

Once I walked away from you... I looked back and I saw that you were not following me.... But my love was greater than my pride.

This time you let me go... then I looked back and I saw that you were not following me this time either.

My heart was in pain... but faith told me "look forward".

....this time I am not looking back...cause the future is right in front of me... with a lot of people who truly seems to care about me....

So... do not regret nothing... as nothing last forever...

Everything ends.. Love, Life... Now I wonder... Did you ever truly loved me?

Even When You saw that they were looking up for me... You just gave up. Thank you for everything. I hope now to be happy.

Him...

One day... I was walking through the city.. me? Just a regular guy with dreams, hopes... wishes.. a guy not rich nor poor... beautiful? Well.. beauty is subjective.

Coming back to that day... when I was walking through the city... then. I saw him.

Him? A beautiful tall guy with sad eyes... a beard. And an old styled outfit... deep beautiful sad eyes... he caught my attention.

The days passed... then I saw him again... I was amazed that he could not keept his eyes away from me.

Everyday after that magical day when destiny decided to cross our paths... every single day my desire for him grew like a flame that burned my inner me. His lips against my lips... his agreessive tongue on my neck. His big hands over my body... his lungs breathing heavy... his head against my chest when that moment came to an end... his perfume on my pillow...

But as the sun comes to an end every day. he slowly killed me when I was not able to see him anymore... his desition? His toughts? I will never know.

The only thing that I was sure. Is that I was. I am and I will be absolutely in love with him.

I love him with deep passion... with deep desire... with deep devotion.

Nothing in this life is worse than to love someone that way, and not to be loved the same.

He will remain in my dreams... nightmares... hopes... and in my heart until the end of time.

One day... we might be able to be together.

At least one day more. But I know that one day more will never be enough...

Cause I need him next to my my whole life.